Syaoran's Thoughts
by NyanNinja
Summary: –SPOILERS FROM CHAPTER 178 AND UP– My hands...they're drenched in the blood of the people I've hurt... How come I never noticed this before? Why did...why did I had to take her life, before I realized the monster before me? "S-Sakura..."


**So, I have now decided to make a Tsubasa Chronicles! I know I've been gone, I'm sorry, but I've been secretly(not anymore) been reading one–shots of Tsubasa characters, so I HAD TO MAKE ONE!** **Okay, so this basically is what c!Syaoran thinks, after he has killed the soul of c!Sakura. and other, but that's for you to think!**

**And BTW most quotes will be in **_italic like this_ **because those quotes came from the english translation of Tsubasa. I got them from like, ****Manag Eden****. So note, those quotes DO NOT belong to me :)**

**So any poo, enjoy!**

**WARNING: IF YOU HAVEN'T READ CHAPTER 178 AND UP AND DON'T WANT TO SPOIL YOURSELF, DO NOT READ. IF YOU DO, THEN WELL, HELP YOURSELVES.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned CLAMP, I'd already make Sakura and Syaoran kiss. So, no.**

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"_If the two of us could be together...that would surely be paradise."_

_–Chapter 52 of TRC_

The world...it's pointless now, isn't it? The sun is beautiful...yet I despise it. The moon shines in the darkness, yet it makes everything darker. Perhaps it's because of the heat of the sun? Or maybe, I've started to fear the dark?

Who am I kidding? I _am_ the darkness.

My hands...they're drenched in the blood of the people I've hurt...the people I've killed...just to get them...to collect them all...for her...

"_I will collect all the feathers! Anything that gets in the way will be __**ERADICATED**__."_

I tighten my jaw, clenched my teeth, clutched and un-clutched my fists, hoping blood would draw out. I've never noticed it before... How come I **never** did notice this?

Why? Why did I have to take her life, before I realized the monster before me?

"_**IF YOU KILL SYAORAN, EVERYTHING WILL COME TO AN END! EVEN YOU AND ME**__!"_

She even warned me. Told me about the consequences, if I kill "Syaoran". Yet I never listened to her. In fact, I don't think I cared for her, until I...

...Killed her.

Me. Who promised her I would protect her from everything. I would even _die_ if that's what it meant to protect her –but I never protected her from myself, because I didn't think I was a danger to her at all–!

_Though, if I weren't a danger, her soul wouldn't be dead, now would it be, Syaoran?_

I looked at the sky and closed my eyes, the nostalgic feeling returning to me. I can still remember it. My blade sinking deep into her body...into her heart...

Her artificial heart...

I never knew that. She was like me. We were both clones. What hapened to the Sakura _I_ grew up with? The one who gave me feelings?

...Who am I kidding. Still, even if she's a clone of the one I grew up with, the one from my world... She's all I have left, of the smiling Sakura, I feel in love with. She's still the same, in every way. I still love her.

And I let her leave me. I'll never see her again. Probably not even in death...

"_Even if we are just creations...we are the same...If those two keep on living, it won't end..." She leaned closer. _

"_I... love y–"_

What did she want to say?! What was she trying to say?! Was...was she trying to say the words I've wanted to hear? _I love you_

But now I'll never know. I'll never know of what's left of my cloned life. "I FREAKIN' KILLED HER!" I screamed, smashing the wall of the ruins.

_Syaoran..._

My eyes widen. It's him. His voice. My "Master".

_You are to kill "Syaoran" and the others do you understand me?_

The others...Kurogane–san...Fai–san...Mokona...I've betrayed them too, haven't I?

My fingers reached my one blue eye. This is Fai–san's power, which grows when I kill. He's dying now–because of _me_.

Kurogane–san must be disappointed in me...Mokona...is she* crying?

Sakura...would you have been proud of me?

It's his fault. _Him_. So called, "Master". He did this to me. In order for something. A wish. A wish that cannot be granted. He made me hurt the people I care for.

Made me kill innocent people.

Made me kill _Sakura_.

I won't fall for his orders now.

"I understand," I lied to the air. At least that man can't hear my thoughts. "I will collect the feathers, no matter what the cost."

There _isn't_ a point anymore in taking them...but at least he can bring them to Sakura.

To the other me.

I won't listen to him anymore. Fei Wong Reed. I'll give Fai–san his magic back. I will deceive him, and put a little show for him. I will put an end to this.

I will end the dream, Sakura dared to end.

I walked. No, I ran, inside the frozen ruins, looking for them, placing my façade for now, until the time comes–

Everyone was already there. It seemed Kurogane–san and Fai–san were already attacking the fail clones.

I turned my head to "Syaoran". His icy cold glare held on, as he pointed his sword at m, as I did the same.

"_...I won't fail this time," _He started. _"It ends today."_

I glared at him, with the same icy look, and spoke. _"Indeed." _I closed my eyes for a quick second. _Sakura...forgive me..._

Suddenly, familiar hands gently touched my shoulders. "Syaoran...please do what you must do..." _Sakura... _

"Syaoran", Kurogane-san, Fai–san, and Mokona is all I have to believe in. I must believe he'll finish off Fei Wong Reed. All I must do now...

Is to believe they'll forgive all the horrible things I've done.

"_It ends here and now."_

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* –**I've seen this other really short manga from CLAMP that the white Mokona said "Mokona's making it with all HER heart, so eat it, okay?" something like that, but it said HER, so I'm just assuming...**

**This is kinda short…oh well...**

**Well, there ya go, that's what I think Syaoran felt after he killed her soul. So….yeah, hope you all enjoyed it!**


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